My Dad is here on a two-week (or so) visit. I have been dreading this for months. Not because I don't like my dad, but because this is the first time I've seen any of my family since Mom passed away, and I knew it was going to be stressful. It's very strange not having Mom here as well; there's a piece missing. Mom was sort of the "leavening" for our family visits. I'm much more like my dad, very quiet. When Mom was there, there was conversation. With just my dad and me, it's all very quiet. I could talk to Mom about knitting or scrapbooking or other crafty things, but Dad really couldn't care less about all that.

Dad and Shaun can talk much more easily than Dad and I can. Heck, Dad and strangers can talk more easily than Dad and I. I try not to let this bother me, but it does, even though I know it's at least partly my fault too.

So what specifically is stressing me out?

• He's very excited to help us expand the deck off the back of our house, and we really can't afford it because we are so strapped right now, but he's so gung-ho about it that I feel like it's something we have to do.

• An unforeseen stress that's small but very wearing is the fact that Emma doesn't say the "p" sound very well, so every time she says "Grandpa," it comes out "Gramma." I don't know if it bothers Dad, but it bothers me. She's getting better at saying it, but still...
  

• I resent the interruption in my routine. This is stupid, but I really do. I like to be able to knit and watch whichever TiVoed shows I want in the afternoons while Emma naps. I like to have quiet evenings just knitting or whatever. I'm really very boring, but I don't want Dad to be bored.
  

• I'm doing WAY more cooking than if it's just me and Shaun and Emma. Somehow, I feel like dinner has to be planned more than 10 minutes in advance when Dad's here. And it's me doing the planning and cooking, not me and Shaun alternating.
  

• There's also more cleaning of bathrooms, vacuuming, and litterbox scooping. I let the litterbox go three days once last week, and Dad scooped it himself. This, of course, made me feel even more miserable and slovenly-housekeeperish.

• Shaun and I still have to work, even though Dad's here. Luckily, our workdays aren't 8-5, but we do have to go in to the Lab at least a couple hours a day. This wasn't such a big deal when Mom was here, because she and Dad would go off around the island on their own, sightseeing or whatever. Now, it's just Dad. He spent almost the whole day at home alone yesterday because I had to work and babysit for 6 hours, and Shaun was writing on a paper he has to get done. I feel like I'm required to entertain him, but I have to work too.

In summary, I feel selfish and whiny. I mean, what I regret most about Mom's passing away is that I (and Emma) didn't have more time with her. And Dad's here now, so I should be enjoying this time with him. But the truth is that I never had the easy relationship with my dad that I did with my mom, and the past week has been uncomfortable and strained. Which mades me feel guilty, which makes me more stressed, which makes me feel uncomfortable, which makes me feel guilty, which makes me feel stressed......

I debated posting this at all, but when all's said and done, this is MY space to express MY feelings (however contorted and whiny and selfish they might be) and to blow off steam. So there you go: a look into the trackless, marshy morass that is the Mind Of Sue.

Just a quick post this time, because my Dad is here visiting. More on this at a later date...

Anyway, I wanted to show off my finished "Children of Lir" scarf. Here it is before blocking, measuring in at a rumply 11" x 31".



And here it is post-blocking, after blossoming to 16" x 50".



I'm quite pleased with the way this came out. The yarn softened a bit after washing, and the finished hand is soft, drapey, and airy. This is the nicest project I've ever made with my own handspun.

To refresh your memory (and mine down the road), this is from 50% Merino / 50% tussah silk commercial roving, spun worsted as a 110 wpi singles, plied to a 57 wpi two-ply, and knitted on #2 (3.0mm) Addi Turbos. Total weight= 1.3 oz (40 g). Total length of yarn used= 416 yds (380 m)

I took part in a bake sale at our local Farmer's Market over the weekend, to raise money for Hurricane Katrina relief. I was amazed when I found out yesterday that we raised almost $1700 in three hours! We didn't set prices for anything, it was all by donation, and people were really generous. My apple pie alone went for $20. One little girl came over with her entire allowance of $1 to buy a single cookie.

It's heartwarming to know that people still have some good in them. All proceeds went straight to the Red Cross.

This morning as I was getting ready to head out the door, Emma was playing in the living room. She was nominally watching Dora the Explorer, but mostly bopping around dancing with her stuffed animals. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when I realized that it had gotten very quiet. This can never mean anything good when there's a non-asleep toddler in the house. I peeked around the corner into the living room and saw Emma, sitting in the middle of the floor.



She had drawn all over the fronts and backs of her arms and legs. While it was Crayola marker, washable and non-toxic, we were literally minutes from having to leave. I ran to get a washcloth, stupidly not taking the marker with me. When I got back, she had continued her creative endeavors.



She was now in full face paint, as well. Thank goodness these markers wash off easily!

--------

Edited to add:
Well, Risa totally upstaged me! Go check out what her kids did!

Happy blogiversary to me! I can't believe I've been doing this for a whole year already!

When Emma and I went to Puyallup last week, I brought along a sock to work on during the ferry ride. I cast on and was merrily knitting away, making great progress, while following Emma as she did laps and played with all the other kids. Between the ride over in the morning and the ride back in the afternoon, I knit the whole leg and half the short-rowed heel. Fun yarn, quick plain circular stockinette knitting, what could be better?

However. Ahem. Apparently I cast on 75 stitches instead of 65. Oof. Elephant socks. Lesson learned. Do not cast on and try to count stitches while following a toddler. In the future, I will arrive for the ferry with a sock-in-progress, not a ball of yarn and some needles.

There was a silver lining, though. First, I created some business for my local yarn shop when a woman was so enchanted with the socks and with watching me knitting that she said she was going straight to get some needles and some of the same yarn for herself in the morning, and learn to knit socks.

Secondly, I created this



when I frogged the sock in preparation for starting over.



Rainbow Ramen! I was just pulling the stitches out while watching TV, and when I was done and looked down, there was this squiggly pile of happy fun-ness.

I love this yarn. It’s called Online, 75% superwash wool and 25% polyamide, and it has a lovely feel. The last pair of self-striping sock I made were a different brand (Fortissima Colori/Socka Color , I think) and that yarn had a totally different feel to it, though it was still 75%wool/25%polyamide. Not only was the yarn thinner and firmer, the wool had almost-scratchy feel, and there were lots of coarser fibers in the yarn. This yarn, though, is thick and cushy (though it's still sock weight- I’m knitting these on #1 needles) and is quite soft. Obviously made from a different breed of wool. The difference is like comparing Wensleydale and Corriedale.

The colors in this are beautiful, too. Very clear and bright, and each stripe is only about two rounds long so it’s fun to anticipate the next progression.



I knit the turned ribbing/picot hem, the leg, and started the heel flap last night before bed. Socks go so fast!

It's hard to believe that in just two years time, a person can go from this:



to this:



Happy Birthday Emma! We had a nice surprise party at the babysitter's house, and Emma was very excited to get to have cake. The presents were fun, too, but mostly there was CAKE!!

I've finished the first half of the Children of Lir scarf, and I really like the way it's working up. Last night I did the last repeat, the seed stitch edging, and bound it off. Now onto the second half!



I'm doing 15 repeats of the pattern on each half. The pattern is written for sport-weight yarn, and only calls for 9 repeats, but that was way too short when done in my much finer handspun. I did a test-stretch after binding off last night, and this half went to approximately 16" x 26", giving a total finished length of around 50" or so. I can't wait to see this done and blocked.