Here there be dragons...

Meet Critter the bearded dragon, newest member of my household.



Emma saw bearded dragon babies when we were in Tricities in January, and fell in love.  They are pretty darn cute (especially the babies), but I nixed the idea of an impulse-buy pet. I told her that I wasn't saying no, but I wasn't saying yes either.

I thought about it for a while, and told her that she needed to research how to take care of a bearded dragon and keep it healthy, write a report about her research, and present it to me.  She also needed to earn half the required money herself, since these little suckers and all their paraphernalia are expensive. Dipping into her savings account was not allowed.  If she could earn $150+ and do the research, we would talk.



My secret expectation was that she would lose interest, or it would take her until next fall to earn the money and she would give up, or she would flit off onto another tangent, and I would not have to buy a lizard.

However.

She was very dedicated and motivated.  She finished her report in less than a month, having apparently pestered the school and town librarians mercilessly to get all available books on bearded dragons, as well as using the school library computers to do research during her free library time and extra lunch-period time (hello, Hermione...).  She wrote the report on her Google Docs at school, and actually got extra credit points in science for it.  She presented it to me in February, and I was impressed.



She earned the required money by the end of March, with even a little extra cushion so she can buy the food and pay someone to come take care of it if we go out of town.

All well and good, I said, but your room is a mess, you have no place to put this creature, and unless you clean it up completely, there will be no dragon.  Again, the expectation that this would not be done and I would not have to buy a bearded dragon.



Again, with the underestimation of her determination.  She wrote herself a schedule, commandeered the kitchen timer, and worked really hard for a whole week to get her room and other Emma-mess areas of the house taken care of.

Sigh.

All my stated criteria being met, I had no choice but to follow through.  Let this be a lesson to all parents out there.  DO NOT PAINT YOURSELF INTO A CORNER.



I complain, but it's mostly tongue-in-cheek.  This is a really cute little guy.  Or girl.  We're not sure which yet.

Maturing

Since...forever, Emma has not liked to be alone.  She has always stuck pretty tight to me, first as a baby/toddler and especially after things blew up between Shaun and me and he moved out.  That was a really tough thing for a six-year-old to process, and for several years her way of dealing was to pretty much always have me in sight or earshot, and in arm's reach at night since she would only sleep in my bed. For a long time, it was to the extent that if I went out to the garage or yard and didn't tell her, she panicked.  Totally understandable abandonment issues.

Off and on for the past year or so, I've casually asked if she wants to stay home while I run to the store, or go up to the Tomato Annex, or do some other short errand.  She always refused and rushed to put on her shoes to come with me.  She wouldn't even entertain the thought of staying alone.  She turned 12 in September, but I didn't push it.  If she wasn't ready, she wasn't ready.

There was a little progress last summer when she walked six blocks by herself from swim practice to Kids Club (daycare) so I didn't have to leave work every morning and pick her up.  I got her a phone and she talked to me during that entire half-mile journey.  She wasn't entirely comfortable doing it, but it was mostly OK except for the times when she was nervous about a dog or a person or it was raining or whatever, and begged me to come get her.  And I did, because she is my daughter and I love her, and she trumps any work project.  Besides, I live in a small town and work for an understanding company, and taking 10 minutes off to drive across town and pick her up was not that big a deal.

Since school started this fall, her swim practice time has been soon-ish after school, so she just takes the bus to the pool and hangs out there until practice, then I pick her up after.  She's been a little burned out on swimming recently, so I told her she could take December off.  Now she suddenly has no activities after school, except that I said she needs to come to the gym with me (I joined a gym again!) a few times a week to still get some exercise.  The original plan was to have her go to Kids Club after school until I was done with work.

Last week, however, she confronted me with A New Plan.  Out of the blue, she said that she felt like it was time that she started learning how to be comfortable staying home alone.  She said that.  Herself. Unprompted.

Her plan is to walk to the town library on two days a week and hang out there for an hour and a half until I am done with work, then I would pick her up and we would go to the gym.  On two other days, she would have a friend walk home with her after school, and they would stay here at the house while I finished work and went to the gym.  On Fridays she could go to Kids Club.

"Eventually, Mom, I'll get used to doing stuff by myself."

Well, wow. My girl is growing up.

I accepted her plan, secretly glad not to have to pay for her to go to Kids Club every day in December, and implementation started this week.

Monday she went to the library.  She called when she got there at 3:15, and she called at 5:03 to make sure that I was coming to get her, since I said I'd pick her up at 5:00 and I was late.  :-)

Yesterday she and her friend walked home from school.  She called when they got to the house, and there was much happiness and laughing on their end of that short call.  I finished work and went to the gym.  Did my workout, headed home.  It was the weirdest feeling ever to pull into the driveway, see the lights on and know that Emma had been there with no grownups for the past two hours.

It wan't until later that it fully hit me.  I had done something by myself, for myself, during a time when I would normally have had to make care arrangements for Emma. This time, she took care of herself (with a friend for company).  It was a little wrenching and sad, but also exciting.

I think this was a watershed moment in my parenting journey.

This child of mine...

It's really amazing what different personalities Emma and I have. She was practicing her flute tonight, and chose to do it on the front porch.  I did some stealth photography.



When I was in junior high and playing the viola, I preferred to do my practicing in my room with the door closed so that no one could hear me.  I mean, I'm sure that my family could hear me, since the walls were just regular walls, but in my mind I was in a bubble of silence and no one could hear me make any mistakes.  That would be soooo embarrassing!

But here's Emma, quite unconcernedly playing her flute on the front porch for the whole neighborhood to hear.  She makes the occasional mistake, but just repeats the measure and carries on.



It's quite enchanting.

Emma's Dream

The gem that Emma came out with at dinner tonight:

"I had a dream last night, that I was Martin Luther King, Jr. and everyone was booing and throwing pineapples at me, and after I gave a speech I was just eating their pineapples."

Just wham, a random comment out of the blue. I couldn't stop giggling.

....I've been thinking about it all evening, and now I actually can't be entirely sure if this is hysterically funny or a very deep thought.

What’s the best way to attract the attention of an 11 year old girl, who is upstairs and apparently ignoring my calls to come down for dinner?

Whistle Katniss’s four-note mockingjay song (from the Hunger Games) at the bottom of the stairs.  She came running and peered wide-eyed down at me.

I giggled at her for a solid 10 minutes.

Seriously, though, I think she has gotten more out of this series than just the adventure story. Emma’s class read the first book of the series in school, and watched the movie.  She then proceeded to devour the last two books on her own initiative, and we watched the movies together after she was done reading.  She finished the third book in time for us to go to the matinee of Mockingjay Part 1 on Sunday.  I read these books a few years ago, and watched the first two movies when they came out on Netflix. It's great that Emma’s growing up enough for us to go to the theater together for the last two.

She’s been all about Katniss this fall, and this sixth grader has made some very astute comments on recent world events. At various points over the past month she has talked to me, with understanding and insight, about how a dystopian society can form following a war or plague, about how oppression of a group of people by a privileged upper class leads to disaster, and how Katniss, Harry Potter, and Luke Skywalker have proved that ordinary people can change the world.

Emma and I went for an Easter hike at Phillips Lake, which is a man-made reservoir on the Powder River, about 45 miles south of La Grande.

Even though we only hiked about three miles round trip, it was a lovely way to spend the afternoon, and we got a geocache to boot!



I love this time of year, when the valleys and lower slopes are green and flowery, while the tops of the mountains are still snow covered.  The peaks north of the lake are the Elkhorn Mountains.  We will be hiking along the tops of those mountains later this summer.

Emma's doing a unit in school about forests and plants, and one of her assignments is to create a photographic plant collection, so she spent some time looking for flowers and getting pictures. She had a ball.



I cannot even express how glad I am that she likes doing the same sort of thing that I do. I love my girl and we love being outside.



The wildflowers are in full swing, and the slopes were covered.  This wallflower daggerpod is a new one for me, Phoenicaulis cheiranthoides.  Very pretty.

Along the way, Emma spied a branch floating in the lake, and had to go check it out.



Then she had to "rescue" it.



And then she had to haul it somewhere.



But where?



Ah!  It had to go ALL the way up the beach to our dinner spot at the base of the bluff .  Success! She's so funny.

So this is where Emma and I had Easter Dinner, a dehydrated hiking meal I made (spaghetti and meat sauce), satsumas, and trail mix.  Not exactly traditional Easter fare, but it was fantastic.  We sat on the beach, listened to the loons calling, and watched the changing light on the mountains and lake.



(Note, please, the rescued branch.)

We finally had to head back, and Emma decided that she wanted to carry the backpack for the mile and a half back to the car.  This is my day pack, 28 liter size, and is a great fit for her.  This will work out perfectly when we go backpacking this summer.  She'll be able to carry her own sleeping bag, clothes, water, and snacks.



It was a really, really great day.

Emma surprised me with breakfast in bed this morning.  She made me waffles from scratch!



I love my big growing-up girl.

Last weekend, Emma and I went over to Portland. It was a Friday through Sunday just-for-fun trip to get out of La Grande, go to thrift stores, and find a good hike.

We did our shopping on Saturday morning/afternoon, and we even braved downtown Portland to go to Powell's Books.  I'm not a city person, so this was a Big Deal.  I've never been to Powell's, and holy cow, they have a lot of books! 

After escaping with what was left of my bank account, we also fled the city and went to do some geocaching.  Our target for the day was the Original Stash cache, at the site of the very first geocache that was ever placed.



Got it!

On Sunday, we headed back to La Grande, stopping along the way in the Columbia Gorge to hike.  I picked the Horsetail Falls and Oneonta Gorge trails.  As, apparently, did everyone else in the greater Portland metro area.  I guess that's to be expected on a sunny summer Sunday.  I've been spoiled by living on the east side of the state, which is much less populated.

We started off at Horsetail Falls:



and then hiked upstream to just before Ponytail Falls, where a side trail split off and went up, up, up to the top of the mountain and an amazing view of the Columbia River Gorge.

This is looking east, upstream along the Columbia River.  Oregon is the near side of the river and Washington is the far side.  The visible highway is the Historic Columbia River Highway, and I-84 is in the line of trees next to the river.



We didn't find the geocache at the top of the mountain, which was frustrating because it was a steep and hard hike, but the view was worth it and Emma was a trooper on the difficult trail.

On the way back down, she said "Mom, I just love the magical green glowing light when the sun shines through the trees.  It looks like it can bring worn-out things back to life."

I couldn't agree more.



After we got back to the main trail, we continued up and around Ponytail Falls.  The cave behind the falls was fun.



Then a couple more miles winding through the woods to Middle Oneonta Falls, across the footbridge, and back along the trail to the road and our car.



Other than the swarms of people, it was a great hike.  I'd like to go back when it's not so crowded.

Emma and I had a fantastic weekend.  Really, it was very nearly perfect.  We went over the mountains and camped at the Wallowa Lake State Park for two nights, and we each picked an activity that we'd been looking forward to for a long time.

For Emma, it was a horseback trail ride.  She's been talking about doing this since May 2012, the last time we camped at the park.  We didn't have time during that trip, so I told her that when we went camping at Wallowa this summer, we would go.  I was pretty excited about it too, actually.

It was a four-hour guided trip, and we rode about three miles up along the West Fork Wallowa River.  Here's Emma riding Max, and the ears of my horse, Rebel.  She was on a lead, since she was initially nervous about controlling the horse herself.  By the second half of the ride, she was more confident and wished that the guide hadn't taken off the bridle so that she could be independent, but oh well.  Next time.



I didn't take too many pictures while I was riding, not because it wasn't beautiful, but because I was too busy holding on.  The horses were completely confident and knew what they were doing (better than I did...) but the trail was very steep and rocky in places, and a little scary.

When we got to the three-mile mark, we stopped for a break.  I was VERY THANKFUL for this.  Apparently, the saddle and stirrups combine to torque your knees in exactly the same way that falling down on a too-steep ski slope and getting tangled up in your own skis does.  My twisted knee from 15 years ago was not at all happy.

Also, my legs are not shaped the same as a horse's ribcage and saddles are very hard.

Ahem.

Thankfully, the discomfort went away quickly when I got off the horse.  We stopped to rest for half an hour at the turn around spot, where another trail branched off.  We walked up the new trail a few hundred yards, after crossing the river.



The trail skirted a beautiful meadow, with Craig Mountain in the background.  Beautiful.



Full of flowers.  Lovely.  We had a snack and a drink, then back across the river to mount up and head down the trail.



It was super fun, and I'm glad we did the ride.  Emma's already planning for next year.

When we got back to our campsite Emma had a blast running around on the playground with the swarms of kids.   I, on the other hand, spread out a blanket in the shade, tried to remember how to straighten my legs, and read a book.  There may have been a nap as well.  If we go riding again, I'm starting a stretching routine at least a month beforehand...

Later in the afternoon, we took a short drive to town to get ice cream cones and a couple geocaches, then went down to the lake beach for a while.  It was a low-key afternoon.  That night we cooked on the campfire, and Emma had a great time learning to use matches safely and build a fire.  Here she is, immensely proud of her first little practice fire out of kindling.



The next day was my activity.  I've wanted to hike the Hurricane Creek trail for several years, and had hoped to go last summer but we never got around to it.

So off we went, after a somewhat later start than we had planned due to the Junior Ranger program that Emma did in the morning.  It was about 11:00 before we left the campground.  There were two geocaches in the vicinity- one just off the road (but up a steep bank) on the way to the trailhead, and one on a short side trail right at the beginning of the main trail.  We got them both, though Emma was dragging a bit at the start, since she almost fell asleep in the car during the short drive from the campground to the trailhead, was hungry, and doesn't like steep scrambles at the best of times.

I got some food, chocolate, and water in her and we took the hike slowly to start. Once we got back onto the main Hurricane Creek trail, the chocolate had kicked in and the only rough and grumpy patch of the weekend was done.  Except for one long steep section in the first part of the trail, the hike was great.  I think we stopped four times during that long pull.  Multiple snacks supplemented her initial chocolate buzz and headed off the sugar crash, and we made it through.



The views were amazing.  This is Deadman Meadow, with Sacajawea Peak in the background.



The trail parallels Hurricane Creek, and passes through forests, meadows, and former burned and avalanche areas that are regenerating.  Quite a variety.

We saw three kinds of orchids blooming, including this beauty, a mountain lady's slipper (Cypripedium montanum).



I love finding these in the wild.  It's fun to go see them at the nature reserve, where they are monitored and we know where expect them to bloom, but it's so much more exciting to come across one unexpectedly in the woods.  A treasure.

We hiked up to Slick Rock Creek, a bit more than three miles from the trailhead.  When we were almost there, Hurricane Creek goes through a narrow gorge with the creek cascading from pool to pool in a series of steps.



It's amazing country.



We waded across Slick Rock Creek, and sat to enjoy the view for a few minutes.  This is looking up Slick Rock Creek: 


And this is looking down Slick Rock Creek toward Hurricane Creek, which is out of sight below the close ridge that has the lightest green vegetation.  It was a very steep streambed below where Emma was sitting!



The cold water felt great on our tired feet.



By this time, though, we were ready for a more substantial meal, and we hiked along the trail just a bit more to find some shade.  This is looking back downstream along Hurricane Creek, with Slick Rock Creek joining from the left.  The narrow gorge with the pools is immediately downstream around the bend.



We found a suitable lunch rock and broke out the stove. Man, did that chicken and rice hit the spot!



We hung out a while just absorbing the amazing scenery and looking at rocks by the creek, then finally had to head back.  While I refilled our water bottles, Emma went fishing with her walking stick.  However, with no fishing line, hook, or bait, she didn't have much success.



It was mostly downhill on the way back.  One last look back across Deadman Meadow,



back across a channel of Deadman Creek,



and through the spruce and fir forests.  It's great that Emma still looked like this after hiking a total of 7.6 miles.  I am so proud of her.  This is the longest hike she's done.



It was an amazing weekend.  I can't even fully express how smoothly everything went, and how much I enjoyed everything -everything- Emma and I did.  I was completely, purely happy.

Affirmation. From Emma. I am bemused and proud and astonished and almost a little weepy. 

Yesterday, after I finished resetting the latch plate on the loom room door, I turned around to see Emma looking at me oddly. Wondering what was up, I asked if everything was ok. 

She looked at me and said "Mom, you're good at fixing things. You're a strong, independent woman, and I'm learning to be one too."

I didn't really know what to say. I wasn't even sure if she was just quoting a book or something. I was afraid I was going to burst into tears.

I settled for an arms-waving-in-the-air shout of YAY US!!! and a big hug. 

One good thing about switching over to Daylight Savings Time is that it's still light after work now, which totally makes up for the lost hour and dark mornings.  Today Emma and I took off on a quick geology hike.

She's been all about rocks lately, and I thoroughly encourage her interest in anything science-y.  Her class is doing a unit on geology in school, she went to a two-hour free workshop at the library last weekend, and she's still going strong, so I bought her a real field guide to rocks and minerals yesterday.  She inhaled almost the entire book last night, and packed her "field kit" in her geocaching backpack.  Check: field guide, notebook, 3 pencils, collecting bags, hammer and chisel (both wooden and fairly useless, but she likes them), and safety goggles. 



We walked down the river road at Hilgard Junction State Park.  We've been here before, and we revisited the geocache just for fun.  While we didn't see any orchids today, we did get to stomp on the remaining snow and check out the lichens and moss and ROCKS!  We also saw a very cold and sluggish rubber boa, the first snake I've seen so far this year.

Emma had a grand old time looking at the rocks.



It was a lovely day today, with a temperature of 68 degrees!  No coats necessary!



And she successfully identified basalt.  Mission accomplished!

Today was an extremely frustrating day as a single parent, but I'm trying to keep from snapping at her.  Deep down in the part of me that's so tired of being a grownup, I feel as whiny and stubborn as she does.

What I really want to do is ignore the housework, pack us both up, and go dabble my feet in the ocean.  Write our names in the sand. Look for shells.  Feel the weight of the sun on my (well-sunscreened) back as I listen to the waves and doze on my towel.

What I saw when I headed down the hall to bed the other night:



She doesn't fit in the closet anymore!  I carried her back to bed, and she didn't even wake up.  When I asked her the next day why she was sleeping in the hallway, she said that the book she was reading  (Nory Ryan's Song, by Patricia Reilly Giff) was so sad that she couldn't be in the same room as it.

That's my girl.  Total immersion in book-world.  I did mention, though, that next time she might want to put the book in the hallway so she could sleep in the bed and not on the floor...