Friday, August 31, 2012

So many things to be rage-y about today.

There's the normal stuff, like politics making me want to clamp my head in a vise before it explodes, general idiocy rampant across the spectrum of your average news feed, and the just unbelievable shortsightedness and closemindedness of some of the people I find around me every day.

But it got personal.  There I was, having a perfectly normal conversation with someone I've never felt uncomfortable around, but haven't seen in about a year; someone about my age that I was friend-ish with before she moved. We were just chit-chatting about random stuff, and somehow it came up that Shaun moved out last year.  I just mentioned it in passing, without any details.  Because, you know, I'm making so much progress toward accepting the situation.  Yay me!

Suddenly there was silence.  Forehead-wrinkled silence facing me across the little table.  Then this person who hasn't seen me for over a year, sitting directly across from me in a public place, actually uttered the following out loud:

"Oh, no.  What did you do that made him leave?  There must have been something- can you remember what it was?  I'm sure you can fix it.  You know, you should come to church with me on Sunday, and we can pray for him to have forgiveness and acceptance so he will take you back. Besides, you can't properly raise your daughter without a husband."

I was speechless.  Literally speechless.  I sat there gaping like a stranded flopping fish.

Once I re-found my lungs and could breathe, I stood up and said "How DARE you make assumptions and pass judgement on a situation you know nothing about. This conversation is over. I need to leave now."  And I left.

Nutter-Butters for dinner, with a side of canned pineapple and beef jerky, while providing temporary comfort, do not really make you feel any better.  I should just go to bed.


yoko said...

At least you were able to speak your mind and tell her what you thought. Good on you for that.

Liz said...

oof. sorry you had to deal with a "friend" like that. but kudos to you for keeping your cool and telling her to MYOB. wish we lived closer so we could hang out. hang in there, Sue. You are making FANTASTIC progress. Yay YOU!! xo

PJ said...

Yup, you did the right very clear with this 'woman'... such judgment!
I think the question I get from 'well meaning' 'friends' (honestly not my close ones) 'sooo, what if he wanted to come back?'
It really leaves me with this huge question mark of..not about 'him', but how can you ask that question? I gently reply to them, "I am not a door mat-are you kidding?" Something about the peace I have people really don't understand or that there is zero tolerances a woman, I'm sorry THIS woman has (me)! Your daughter has the most fabulous mother that she will learn from ..that a STRONG mother a STRONG woman to stand up for what is RIGHT! my kids are older..(son still at home at 16) they are proud of me....your daughter will be too. Sorry, your post struck a nerve with me...gosh, you did the right thing...end conversation and leave!
Nutty Butter, Pineapple, and Jerky...and that's okay ;)

Chris said...

Wow! That's just... Wow! Judgmental AND ignorant (about the general marriage statistics, if nothing else). Free on sale today! Two bad character traits for the price of one! (Although, speaking of that last one, I had to Google what Nutter Butters were...I don't think we have them here & I _obviously_ wasted my time while living in the US!)

Cathy said...

Got that same kind of suggestion from a few people.
At the time it enraged me, now I wonder what the entrails of their marriage foretold. Never went back to find out.